> Contact: Somebody
> Office: Somewhere
> Email: Something@Somedomain.SomeTopLevel
>
> SANTA CLARA, C.A. -- The Linux kernel development team has officially
Drop "officially". repetition. This IS the announcement, therefore is official.
Adds immediacy not to have the adverb in the way.
> announced the release of a new version of the Linux kernel. This
> update brings advanced scalability and broad support for newer
I prefer "multiprocessor" to "advanced", since it's simpler to focus on,
albeit inadequately correct.
> hardware, while maintaining the stability and reliability that have
> been traditional hallmarks of the Linux kernel.
Nice. Drop "traditional". Say "the hallmark"(s).
> Among the new features of the 2.2.0 kernel are **BLAH** [Something
> needs to be added here that doesn't sound like Microsoft doublespeak.]
>
> Many pioneering users have already installed this update, available
Drop "Many". Don't like it anyway - too coy. "The update is now available
from .."
> from the Linux Kernel Archive (http://www.kernel.org/). Linux system
> vendors will begin shipping systems using the new kernel in March.
> Business users will be able to obtain the update from their Linux
say "regular supplier". "Linux" is repetition.
> distribution vendor. As always, the Linux kernel is distributed as
> Free Software under the terms of the GNU General Public License,
> available for perusal at the web site of the Free Software Foundation
Drop "available for perusal.. ". Just give the url as a reference.
In parens is fine. A footnote is also fine.
> (http://www.fsf.org/).
>
> BACKGROUND -- "Linux" is the common name for a series of operating
> system distributions based primarily on the Linux kernel and software
Drop "primarily". Drop "series of".
> from the Free Software Foundation's GNU Project. Linux is available
> for most popular computer architectures, including but not limited to
> x86, Alpha, PowerPC, MIPS, and Sparc.
>
> Since the Linux kernel was created in 1991 by then Finnish university
> student Linus Torvalds, Linux has grown to an installed base estimated
> at more than 15 million users worldwide. With its 212% growth rate in
Drop "its". Maybe "a .. of" instead.
> 1998, it is the fastest growing server operating system. Among its
"its -> the". Drop "operating"
> advantages attracting new users are:
Drop "new".
> * An open development model, which enables any user to modify the
> operating system components and submit patches to the official
> distribution. This both facilitates the development of new
> features and enables users to repair problems within hours after
> they have been located. [This is very awkward. It needs work in
> delineating the concept I have brought out here.]
No - it's very good. Excellent. Well done. Reference the bazaar paper,
maybe.
> * Usability. Linux has both advanced graphical user interfaces in
Drop "both". Repetition.
> GNOME and KDE and a flexible command line, enabling power users
> and novices alike to work in a comfortable environment. [I'm not
> quite sure this is what I'm trying to say.]
It's not so bad. You can drop the command line bit - in fact you can
drop it all. You're trying to say that for the home and office user,
Linux nowadays comes ready to go with GUIs that extend the desktop
metaphor with drag 'n drop architectures and seamless network
access.
> * Stability and reliability. Linux machines have been known to run
> for years without rebooting
PUNTO (full stop).
and in most cases, only kernel
> replacements -- not application installations -- necessitate such
> action.
>
> * Maturity. Linux is modelled after UNIX, an operating system with
> proven stability through nearly thirty years of research and
> development.
>
> Microsoft engineers Josh Cohen and Vinod Valloppillil, in a
> competitive examination of Linux (Halloween Document,
> http://www.opensource.org/halloween.html), write that "Linux
> represents a best-of-breed UNIX, that is trusted on mission critical
> applications, and - due to its open source code - has a long term
> credibility which excedes many other competitive operating systems."
Nice.
> For additional information about Linux, the Free Software Foundation,
> the GNU Project, or related software, please refer to the URLs listed
> below.
OK - but should have been footnoted already.
>
> [Trademark information goes here. I'm not sure what needs to be
> listed.]
>
> [URLs can go here. Keep it brief.]
Peter
-
To unsubscribe from this list: send the line "unsubscribe linux-kernel" in
the body of a message to majordomo@vger.rutgers.edu
Please read the FAQ at http://www.tux.org/lkml/