Besides quotes, I would like to hear what these two fine gentlemen think of
the press release so far, and the idea in general. Linus in particular seems
to have been silent so far.
Remaining quibbles with the press release follow.
> **** DRAFT **** PRESS RELEASE - LINUX KERNEL 2.2.0 **** DRAFT ****
>
>
> LINUX KERNEL 2.2
> Santa Clara CA, January XX, 1999
>
[snip]
> Today Linus Torvalds, leader of the Linux software development team, released
> a major new version of the Linux operating system. This update brings advanced
All throughout: follow all periods with two spaces, not one.
[snip]
> Advanced technical users are already using this update, available
> from the Internet. Linux vendors will begin shipping fully integrated
> systems using the new kernel in March. Business users will be
> able to obtain the update on CD-ROM distributions. The eager may wish to
> download Linux 2.2 from the Linux Kernel Archive <http://www.kernel.org/>. To
> cope with the massive expected deman for this upgrade, the Linux Kernel
> Archive has a whole heirarchy of mirror servers worldwide which are in place
> and ready to roll.
Too colloquial. How about "To cope with the expected demand for this upgrade,
the Linux Kernel Archive has established a worldwide network of mirror servers
from which the upgrade can be obtained."
[snip]
> BACKGROUND
>
> Linux is a secure network operating system for demanding users.
> It interoperates well with a wide variety of other systems.
> Linux can take advantage of modern PC and PowerMac hardware
> or give new life to older 386 and 486 based computers. Several other
> processors, including the 64-bit Alpha and UltraSPARC are also
> supported.Support contracts are available from vendors and due to the open
> source nature of Linux to numerous third party organisations. Linux is
Unclear. How about "Another benefit of Linux and its open source nature is that
support contracts are available from vendors and numerous third parties."
[snip]
>
> One satisfied user, Scott Hamm, said that "Linux is technically far superior
> to any OS created across the earth. It is a robust operating system built to
> be a reliable server. Bottom of the line, Linux is the future."
Who? Also, the quote contains poor grammar, and "superior to any OS created
across the earth" sounds less than professional. I would lose this paragraph.
> Josh Cohen and Vinod Valloppillil, in a competitive examination of Linux
> issued by Microsoft Corporation, wrote that "Linux represents a best-of-
> breed UNIX, that is trusted in mission critical applications, and - due to
> it's open source code - has a long term credibility which exceeds many
> other competitive OS's."
>
> [COMMENT - Is this editing quotes too much? I feel that the people reading the
This paragraph is just about perfect; however what is meant by editing quotes?
If what is between the quotation marks differs at all from the original
document, this is legally dangerous. At minimum you have to mark removed
material, etc.
>
> Valloppillil goes on to say, in an analysis of the Linux development
> process, that the model Linux uses "poses a direct [...] platform threat
> to Microsoft, particularly in the server space. Additionally, the
> [...] free idea exchange in [open source software] has
> benefits that are not replicable with our current licensing model." He
> continues, stating that "Linux has been deployed in mission critical,
> commercial environments with an excellent pool of public testimonials.
I would lose this. Too much paraphrasing for too little benefit. Doesn't
add much. If you need it, just keep the last sentence.
Charles Cazabon
-- ---------------------------------------------------- Charles Cazabon <charlesc-linux@qcc.sk.ca> Any opinions expressed are just that -- my opinions. ----------------------------------------------------
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