Re: draft for review - press release

Peter T. Breuer (ptb@it.uc3m.es)
Thu, 14 Jan 1999 12:28:30 +0100 (MET)


Nice try, but you're probably not a writer by trade!

Too many numbers, jargon and acronyms. Cut by a factor of 10.
Repetition.

Peter

"A month of sundays ago Smart, Kylie wrote:"
>
> Please make sure any replies go to gsmart@tennyson.com.au
>
> hello,
> earlier today I said I would draft up a press release for
> when linux 2.2.0 gets released because of the publicity.
> Anyway here it is. Please have a look and give me any suggestions
> that you might have. In particular I would like to order new
> features by importance, I'm sure I've missed some too. If
> people feel this job should be taken on by someone who has a
> high profile then I'll happily hand it over (i.e. I won't take
> it personally).
>
> cheers
> Greg Smart
>
>
>
>
> PRESS RELEASE - LINUX KERNEL 2.2.0
>
> The Linux kernel development team has released stable kernel version
> 2.2.0. This release emcompasses the bug fixes and enhancements of the
> 2.1.xx series of development kernels, and the 2.2.0 pre-release kernel
> series. This release supercedes stable kernel v2.0.36, and is intended
> for inclusion in GNU/Linux distributions.

For example, getting out my red pen.

The Linux team, a worldwide group of computer hackers led by Linus
Torwalds, now at Transmeta Corp. in the USA, has released a new
operating system kernel. The new kernel has been in development for
nearly three years, and will soon be powering the future GNU/Linux
distributions of the popular UNIX-like operating system for the PC,
sparc, alpha and many other platforms. Hello Linux 2.2!

Etc. etc. Eric Raymond should probably be left to do this!

Peter

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